Facebook Relations
by duchaness
Summary: Warblers and Glee kids collide in one Facebook! Humors and Romance. Klaine, Finchel and more.
1. Puppies and Magic toothbrush

**Hey peeps!**

**I decided to make a Facebook fanic. Don't worry. This isn't a one shot. These will MANY. As long as you review.**

**Disclaimer: No.**

**Kurt Hummel: **Just had a wonderful day with the Warblers!

**(Mercedes Jones, Blaine Anderson, Rachel Berry, And 6 others like this)**

**Mercedes Jones: **Aww..I wish you were here Kurt. But it seems you're having fun with your man

**Kurt Hummel: **Who? Who's the "man"?

**Brittany Pierce: **It's probably my Grandpa Murray. I'm excited to meet him next week! He said he's gonna give me a magic toothbrush

**Finn Hudson: **A magic toothbrush?

**Brittany Pierce: **Artie told me there's a magic hairbrush. So there is probably a magic toothbrush!

**Finn Hudson:** Cool! can you ask your Grandpa Murray if he can also get me one?

**Kurt Hummel: **Oh, the wit of Finn and Brittany.

**(The Puckasaurus likes this)**

**Blaine Anderson: **Strolling the park with **Kurt Hummel **was fun! We were able to walk my puppy!

**(Kurt Hummel, Brittany Pierce, and 2 others like this)**

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm glad you thought it was fun!

**Blaine Anderson:** Of course it was fun. I've got too see Jeremiah on the Ice Cream store!

**Kurt Hummel:** errr, sure. Whatever you say.

**Brittany Pierce:** Why is it that puppies need to be walked around? why can't they stay at home?

**Santana Lopez: **Because Britt, if they won't be able to walk around into a park or some shit like that, they will be doing their business at home.

**Brittany Pierce: **Ooohh...Puppies have business at home? That is so cool! Will they be able to sell a Dora franchise?

**Santana Lopez:** No, it means they will do the things that has something to do on the bathrooms.

**Brittany Pierce:** Soo...Puppies can sweep and mop the bathrooms now?

**Rachel Berry: **Just got home after a practice with **The Puckasaurus.** Really, Noah? Why did you left me at the Auditorium? ALONE?

**(Santana Lopez likes this)**

**The Puckasaurus:** Well if you weren't screaming and yelling me at the fucking whole hour, I wouldn't have left.

**Rachel Berry: **If you did a good job, I wouldn't be yelling at you!

**The Puckasaurus: **Nah, i suggest you to keep scolding me every practice. It's hot, you know.

**Rachel Berry: **Eww! Noah! Can't you just keep your hands to Lauren Zizes?

**The Puckasaurus: **Well, i would. But she kept rejecting me.

**Santana Lopez: **Screw Poppin' Fresh. I'm always available, you know? ;)

**Finn Hudson: **So you guys are ALONE? at the Auditorium? WTH?

**The Puckasaurus: **Chillax, Frankenteen. We're only rehearsing.

**Finn Hudson: **JUST rehearsing?

**The Puckasaurus: **Nothing more, nothing less.

**Santana Lopez: **Hey Puck! I just said i'm available!

**The Puckasaurus: **Gotta go now, Hudson. Satan's annoying the hell out of me. My mom needs me to buy some tampons.

**The Puckasaurus: **Holy shit! that was supposed to be a private message! screw Facebook, i'm outta here.

**Finn Hudson: **Busted.

**Santana Lopez:** My man just blew me off!..But since you're here, Frankenteen..

**Finn Hudson:** errr,,gotta go now. My mom also wants me to buy tampons.

**Santana Lopez:** I hate my stupid life.

**Mercedes Jones: **I just saw Kurt and Soul sister. HOLDING HANDS!

**(Rachel Berry, Artie Abrams, Kurt Hummel likes this)**

**Kurt Hummel: **We weren't holding hands. He just helped me cross the road.

**Santana Lopez: **Pff, what a lame excuse. You just got that excuse from Bieber and that Wizard chick who were seen holding hands and Bieber made a pathetic excuse saying he helped her cross the road.

**Kurt Hummel: **He was really helping me cross the road. I SWEAR!

**Mercedes Jones: **Satan's completely right. How is it that he's helping you cross the road when i seen both of you holding hands on the MALL!

**Santana Lopez: **See, i'm expert on lying, cheating, love, and sex.

**Kurt Hummel: **Is that all?

**Santana Lopez: **Well what do you expect? that i'll be expert at sewing legwarmers and ugly sweaters that will be suited for Man-hands and give flyers infront of a restaurant? Not cool.

**Rachel Berry:** Hey! how in the hell did i became the topic of this status?

**Finn Hudson: **Yeah! and Rachel doesn't give flyers infront of a restaurant! she's a student, she doesn't even have a job!

**Rachel Berry: **Thanks Finn, i think.

**Santana Lopez: **Oh boohoo. How in the hell does Smart-pants Berry got a ex-boyfriend with a brain that is in a size of a peanut?

**(** **Brittany Pierce, Artie Abrams, Sam Evans, and Quinn Fabray likes this)**

**I'm done, peeps!**

**Please review! **

**8 Reviews= next chapter**

**Feel free to have some suggestions like jokes or something.**


	2. Teachers and Alcohol

**Hey Guys!**

**I'm back with the 2nd chapter!**

**MaddieAlice108: Artie taught her how to turn on the computer. And thanks for pointing out my mistake!**

**Disclaimer: No.**

**~Glee~**

**Finn Hudson **Hey Britt! where's my magic toothbrush?

**(Brittany Pierce, Santana Lopez, Kurt Hummel, Quinn Fabray and 48 others like this)**

**Brittany Pierce: **My parents told me that there's no more magic toothbrush:(

**Finn Hudson: **That's lame.

**Sam Evans: **It is because there are no such things like a magic toothbrush.

**Brittany Pierce:** There is. Grandpa Murray can't be wrong!

**Quinn Fabray: **Hey! are we SERIOUSLY arguing if there is a magic toothbrush?

**Brittany Pierce: **I am right. There is a magic toothbrush. Grandpa said that he used a magic toothbrush when he worked with Houdini.

**Finn Hudson: **Who's Houdini?

**Brittany Pierce: **His old mistress.

**Rachel Berry: **Houdini is a magician.

**Finn Hudson: **Sooo...Old people can have an old, magician, mistress now?

**(Brittany Pierce likes this)**

**

* * *

**

Santana Lopez

Huge party at **The Puckasaurus **house tonight! Come!

**(The Puckasaurus, Quinn Fabray, Rachel Berry, and 118 others like this)**

**Kurt Hummel: **Are the Glee kids invited? Am i invited even if i'm a Warbler?

**Santana Lopez: **Yeah, Ladyface. And you're invited too. Including Blaine.

**Rachel Berry: **ooohhh! Kurt! help me find a dress! I'm gonna crash Noah's party tonight! :)

**Santana Lopez: **Except you, Hobbit. I don't think you're invited.

**Rachel Berry: **AND WHY?

**Santana Lopez: **Because it's a teenagers party. Why don't you just crash some kindergarten parties? Your outfit will fit there.

**Rachel Berry: **Last time i check, YOUR NOT NOAH.

**Santana Lopez: **Well last time i checked, you don't belong to anywhere else. You just belong on Facebook.

**Rachel Berry:** What does that even mean?

**Santana Lopez: **Because Facebook is the only place where you can talk to a wall and not be considered as a loser, Man-Hands.

**Brittany Pierce: **Woah! Rachel can talk to a wall! What kind of language is that? Can you also teach me, Rachel?

**Rachel Berry: **I'M OUTTA HERE.

* * *

**The Puckasaurus **Da party was damn fun! Alcooooooohol!

**(Santana Lopez, Finn Hudson, Artie Abrams, and 67 others like this)**

**Finn Hudson:**Damn, dude. THE HOT CHICKS MADE MY DAYCOMPLETE.

**Quinn Fabray: **Of course, guys would be there for sex.

**Finn Hudson: **I didn't saw you there. Were you there, Quinn?

**Quinn Fabray: **No.

**Finn Hudson: **Why not?

**Quinn Fabray: **Are youfrickin' kidding me? I DON'T WANNA GET PREGNANT TWICE.

**The Puckasaurus: **Hey!

(**Rachel Berry, Tina Cohen-Chang, Mike Chang, and Kurt Hummel likes this)**

**Quinn Fabray: **Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy? HUH?

**The Puckasaurus: **Yeah, your bladder.

**Quinn Fabray: **Very funny, Puck.

**

* * *

**

Principal Figgins

Alcohol is very bad. WILLIAM! You got to teach your Glee kids to help stop drinking that is influenced by artists nowadays like Ke-dollar sign- ha!

**(The Puckasaurus likes this)**

**The Puckasaurus: **YEAH! Principal Figgins is ON FACEBOOK?

**Will Schuester: **Kesha?

**The Puckasaurus: **WOAH! MR. SCHUE IS ALSO ON FACEBOOK? IS THIS A DREAM OR SOMETHING?

**Principal Figgins: **Mr. Puckerman. I suggest you leave my status now or ELSE DETENTION FOR ONE WEEK!

**( Finn Hudson likes this)**

* * *

**Brittany Pierce **Help! Building a toilet is hard!

**(Mercedes Jones, Artie Abrams, Santana Lopez, and 22 others like this)**

**Mercedes Jones: **Okay, what the hell is she talking about?

**Sam Evans: **First, the magic toothbrush, now THIS?

**Brittany Pierce: **I saw an apple tree in front of Wes Brody's house. You all know Wes, right? The seven-year old i briefly dated? Well, it was his birthday and i wasn't invited. So i wanna get an apple to their tree. If apples grow on apple trees, then toilets grows on toilet trees. My toilet is broken. Because i went inside the bathroom and waited too long that i wet my skirt.

**Rachel Berry: **Oh my god, Brittany is like a tv.

**Sam Evans: **Why is that?

**Rachel Berry: **ACHILD CAN TURN HER ON? REALLY?

**

* * *

**

Kurt Hummel

is in a relationship** with Blaine Anderson.**

**(The Puckasaurus, Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry, and 32 others like this)**

**Santana Lopez: **I KNEW IT.

**Kurt Hummel: **Awww..Blaine is so sweet...

**Mercedes Jones: **Huh?

**Kurt Hummel: **As you can see, we were at my room playing a jigsaw puzzle for fun. Then, after the puzzle was formed, it said "Will you be mine?"

**Rachel Berry: **awww...i wish i once had a boyfriend like that.

**Finn Hudson: **Ahem..ahem..ahem...*coughs*

**Rachel Berry: **All you ever did Finn is watch a movie with me. And you always fell asleep!

**Finn Hudson: **I'm still worth it, you know? ;)

**Brittany Pierce:** HA! Kurt and Blaine completed a jigsaw puzzle! Congratulations! I also completed too today!

**Santana Lopez: **Congrats Britt!

**Brittany Pierce:** Thanks San! I was really happy when i completed it. I only finished for six months! How cool is that?

**Santana Lopez: **SIX MONTHS?

**Brittany Pierce: **Yes! Can you believe it? And the box said 4-6 years! I am so smart!

**( Sam Evans and Quinn Fabray likes this)**

* * *

**Blaine Anderson **Strolling the streets with my boyfriend, **Kurt Hummel!**

(**Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson, Hummel, and 102 others like this)**

**Kurt Hummel: **That was so sweet, Blainy! You really don't need to put it on a status..you know?:)

**Blaine Anderson: **I want too, Kurty. I want to impress you:D

**Santana Lopez**: Blainy? Kurty? WHAT IS THIS? A TELETUBBIES SHOW?

**Kurt Hummel: **You're just jealous, Satan. Because you don't have a relationship.

**Santana Lopez: **Pff, no one needs a relationship. I need SEX.

**Kurt Hummel: **You're gross.

**Santana Lopez: **And hot. I already knew it. You don't have to compliment me anymore.

**

* * *

**

Rachel Berry

thinks that **Finn Hudson **is the worst thing ever created by God.

**(The Puckasaurus, Kurt Hummel, Brittany Pierce, Sam Evans, and 12 others like this)**

**Finn Hudson: **Well, i think you're the most spoiled, annoying brat i've ever seen!

**Rachel Berry: **You're the most rude person i've ever seen!

**The Puckasaurus:** This is so hot.

**Finn Hudson: **You're the most selfish and diva of all. IN A BAD WAY!

**Rachel Berry: **DUMB!

**The Puckasaurus: **This is just so fucking hot.

**Finn Hudson**: WHINY!

**Rachel Berry: **IDIOTIC!

**The Puckasaurus: **HOT AS HELL. DON'T STOP.

**Finn Hudson: **I hate you!

**Rachel Berry: **I hate you too!

* * *

**Rachel Berry **is in a relationship with **Finn Hudson**

**(Santana Lopez, Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, and 127 others like this)**

**Kurt Hummel: **So much for the "i hate you's", huh?

**(****The Puckasaurus, Mercedes Jones, Sam Evans, and 34 others like this)**

**

* * *

**

Santana Lopez

Finchel reunite again, Klaine is formed, 2012 MUST BE HAPPENING FAST. I DAMN SWEAR.

**(Brittany Pierce, Mercedes Jones, The Puckasaurus, and 6 others like this)**

**Kurt Hummel: **Is there a "dislike" button here?

**Rachel Berry:** Agree with Kurt.

**Brittany Pierce:** if 2012 is near, How am i be able to grow my toilet trees fast?

**(Santana Lopez, Rachel Berry, Blaine Anderson, and 18 others like this)**

* * *

**I'm done for the 2nd chapter!**

**Please review!**

**10+ reviews= 3rd Chapter**

**Thank you!**

**Maraming Salamat!**

**Gracias!**


	3. Pickup lines and Brittany

Am back:)

**Disclaimer: No. STILL DON'T OWN IT.**

* * *

**Rachel Berry** Spending my amazing (and exciting) day with **Finn Hudson!**

**(Brittany Pierce, Kurt Hummel, Finn Hudson, and 28 others like this)**

**Finn Hudson: **Baby, i'm gonna kiss you now ;)

**Rachel Berry:** I don't want a kiss...I want a make-out session:)

**Santana Lopez: **This is Facebook. Not a STRIP CLUB!

**Finn Hudson: **Shut the hell up, Satan.

**Rachel Berry: **Santana! Get the hell out of my status!

**Finn Hudson: **Did..did Rachel Berry just cursed?

**Rachel Berry: **No i didn't. What are you talking about?

**Finn Hudson:** You don't have to hide it from me, baby..It's kinda hot, you know?;)

**Santana Lopez: **This is bullshit! GET A ROOM!

* * *

**Sam Evans **My leg frickin' hurts.

**(Santana Lopez and The Puckasaurus likes this)**

**Santana Lopez: **Your leg hurts, baby? Is there anything i can do to make you feel better?;)

**Sam Evans: **Uh..no.

**Brittany Pierce: **Were the same, Sam. I just sprained my arm and no one is here to help me.

**Sam Evans: **WHAT? WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL 911?

**Brittany Pierce: **I can't find the number 11 on the telephone button.

**Sam Evans: **Of course.

**(Santana Lopez likes this)**

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **Isn't the Hummel household party FUN? :)

(**Blaine Anderson, Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry, and 11 others like this)**

**Blaine Anderson: **Don't worry. It's fun:)

**Kurt Hummel: **Aww.

**Santana Lopez: **Eww.

**Quinn Fabray: **The party was crazy, Kurt!

**Kurt Hummel:**Was that a compliment?

**Quinn Fabray: **Yep.

**Brittany Pierce: **It was fun Kurt! Except for the fact i knocked over your priceless Ming vase.

**Kurt Hummel: **WHAT? YOU BROKE MY PRECIOUS MING VASE?

**Brittany Pierce: **It's okay, Kurt. I'm not hurt.

**Kurt Hummel: **That VASE took me ages to buy it, Britt!

**Brittany Pierce: **That's okay. I told you. I'm not hurt. But i sprained my ankle a while ago.

**Kurt Hummel: **UGH!

* * *

**Rachel Berry Santana Lopez** is making my amazing day horrible.

**(Finn Hudson, Santana Lopez, Kurt Hummel, and 69 others like this)**

**Santana Lopez: **What the hell are you babbling about, stubbles?

**Rachel Berry: **You're stupid comments are ruining my day!

**Santana Lopez: **Are you telling me that i'm wrong? Believe me. You're gonna end up on the streets like a hobo. NOT A BROADWAY STAR! I'm just being honest..and bitchy, you know xD

**Rachel Berry: **You're wrong. Someday you'll see me on New York with my face plastered all over the city and starring at Broadway shows. I'll have millions of crying girls. And boys.

**Santana Lopez:** Stubbles, the only fan you'll have is the one on your ceiling.

**Rachel Berry: **The only job you'll have is working on a pole.

**Santana Lopez: **Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.

**Rachel Berry: **Bitch.

**Santana Lopez: **(B) Bold, (I) Intelligent , (T) Thoughtful , (C) Caring , and (H) Happy. Are you happy? Well, i guess not because you keep calling me that! Soo thank u for noticing, i try hard.

* * *

**Mercedes Jones **Creating a scrapbook for the Glee Club. It'll preserve the good memories!

**(Kurt Hummel, Artie Abrams, Will Schuester, and 12 others like this)**

**Artie Abrams: **Scrapbook? That's fun.

**Mercedes Jones: **Tell me about it. I LOVE PICTURES!

**Brittany Pierce: **I love the lightning!

**Mercedes Jones: **Why? (Please don't be dumb..please don't be dumb..)

**Brittany Pierce:** Because i feel someone is taking me a picture.

**Mercedes Jones: **Sweet Grilled Cheesus.

**Finn Hudson: **Did you just say Grilled Cheesus?

(**The Puckasaurus, Brittany Pierce, and Sam Evans like this)**

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **Loves it when his boyfriend makes him feel like on "Romeo and Juliet"

(**Blaine Anderson, Artie Abrams, Finn Hudson, and 93 others like this)**

**Blaine Anderson: **You love that? Geez. I don't know i make you feel like that. But anyways, Thanks!

**Kurt Hummel:** Thanks?

**Blaine Anderson**: And I love you.

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm blushing in front of the laptop!:)

**Tina Cohen-Chang: **That was so sweet.

**Mike Chang: **Hey, baby;)

**Santana Lopez: **Okay, why is it the Changs are here?

**Brittany Pierce: **What's Romeo and Juliet?

**Kurt Hummel: **You haven't heard of it?

**Brittany Pierce: **No. All i know is that Romeo is one of my ex-boyfriends. You know, one of the football players? And Juliet is one of the names of my Barbie dolls.

**Kurt Hummel: **Have you ever read Shakespeare?

**Brittany Pierce: **No. Who wrote it?

**Kurt Hummel: **I'm talking with the smartest person in the whole world. Go figure.

**(Blaine Anderson, Tina Cohen-Chang, Rachel Berry, and 52 others like this)**

* * *

**Santana Lopez **I'm so damn tired and dehydrated. Cheerios practice. Glee Club. Rachel Berry's annoying voice and clothes.

**( Brittany Pierce, The Puckasaurus, Mercedes Jones, and 113 others like this)**

**Rachel Berry: **Shut up, Satan. Your ruthless status is also annoying.

**Santana Lopez: **Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. No one is asking for your bullshit opinion, Hobbit!

**Rachel Berry: **Finn, Defend me!

**Finn Hudson: **Hey!

**Santana Lopez: **Hey.

**Rachel Berry: **Nice work, Finn :(

**Brittany Pierce: **I'm dehydrated too!

**Santana Lopez: **Didn't you have an orange juice box last practice?

**Brittany Pierce: **I have. But it doesn't work.

**Santana Lopez: **Work?

**Brittany Pierce: **Yes. I spent 30 minutes staring at the orange juice box, because it said "concentrate". And i'm still dehydrated! That juice sucks.

**Santana Lopez: **No comment.

**( Sam Evans, Quinn Fabray, The Puckasaurus, and 11 others like this)**

* * *

**Quinn Fabray **I just got scored a date with **Sam Evans. **Get ready for me, Breadstix!

**( Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson, Kurt Hummel, and 128 others like this)**

**Sam Evans: **Don't get too excited, babe.;)

**Quinn Fabray:** And why is it, Mr. Evans?

**Santana Lopez: **Ken and Barbie annoys the hell out of me.

**Sam Evans: **Because i ain't showed you everything YET.

**Santana Lopez: **You guys are worser than Finchel.

**Quinn Fabray: **And what is that, Mr. Evans?;D

**Sam Evans: **My abs. My lips. My body. You've got it all figured out.

**Santana Lopez: **I'm gonna barf right now, seriously.

**Quinn Fabray: **Well, i think i might be ready for that;)

**Santana Lopez: **It's like watching a Facebook sex. Or Facebook porn.

**Sam Evans: **Santana, shut the hell up!

**Santana Lopez: **Yo Big mouth, This is Facebook. So you can't and NEVER make me shut up.

**Jacob-Ben Israel: **You and your boobs are hot, Santana.

**Santana Lopez: **Where did Jewfro came out of nowhere?

**Jacob Ben-Israel: **From your pants.

**Santana Lopez: **Shut the fuck up.

**Jacob Ben-Israel:** You said people can't shut up on Facebook.

**Sam Evans: **Right. Didn't you, Santana?:)

**Santana Lopez: **You know what, Jewfro and Big mouth? I'm leaving. See you on hell!

* * *

**Mercedes Jones **Just got home with a box of Cheerios. YUM!

**(The Puckasaurus, Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson, and 21 others like this)**

**Brittany Pierce: **Wait.. So the Cheerios can be put inside on a box now? Will they fit there?

**Rachel Berry: **LOL:D

**Mercedes Jones:** No Britt. It is not the ACTUAL Cheerios. Do you remember the box of cereal i shared with you last Monday?

**Brittany Pierce: **Oh!...The Doughnut seeds!

**Mercedes Jones: **Err..right. The Doughnut seeds.

**(Santana Lopez, Sam Evans, Rachel Berry and 5 others like this)**

* * *

**Rachel Berry **Is it me, or **Finn Hudson **is drunk? I just recieved a drunk dial!

**( Finn Hudson, Brittany Pierce, Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, and 38 others like this)**

**Finn Hudson: **I'm not drunnk, I'm just intoxicated by youu.

**Rachel Berry: **Ugh! Your mispelled words just proved me right!

**Finn Hudson:** I rememberdd your face and wass so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall.

**Rachel Berry: **What now?

**Finn Hudson:** You must be in a wrong place - the Miss Universe contest is overr derr!

**Rachel Berry: **Shut up, Finn!

**Finn Hudson:** Can i have directionss?

**Rachel Berry: **To where?

**Finn Hudson: **To your heartt..

**Rachel Berry: **So you're gonna shower me with yor pick-uplines?

**Finn Hudson: **If you were aa booger I'd pick youu first..

**Rachel Berry: **That's not gonna work!

**Finn Hudson: **If I could rearrange the alpphabet, I'd put U and I together..

**Brittany Pierce: **That will be hard, Finn. I can't even arrange the M&M's alphabetically!

(**Mercedes Jones, Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, Santana Lopez, and 123 others like this)**

* * *

**Wew!:)**

**Don't forget to review!**

**Thank you!**

**Maraming Salamat!**

**Gracias!**


	4. Sue And Santana

**Hey peeps!**

**I am back with Chapter 4!:)**

**Disclaimer: Do I really have to repeat this ALL OVER AGAIN?**

**~GLEE~**

* * *

**Santana Lopez **I hate my no-sex-for-a- week life.

**(Kurt Hummel, Rachel Berry, Lauren Zizes, and 132 others like this) **

**Rachel Berry: **Santana the slut doesn't have someone to have sex for a week? That must be a record.

**( The Puckasaurus likes this)**

**Santana Lopez: **I wish I have a remote to control life like the one on "Click". So I can shut up Berry's big, fat mouth.

**Rachel Berry: **I was just expressing my opinion on Facebook. Is there something wrong with that?

**Santana Lopez: **Yes. By the fact that your STUPID, BIG, FAT, MOUTH is opened always on reality and on Facebook. Your mouth doesn't really give up, huh?

**Finn Hudson: **Shut it, Santana. I happen to love Rachel Berry's mouth.

**Santana Lopez: **Ew. How the hell did Stubbles happen to LIKE you?

**Finn Hudson: **Ha! You're just jealous cause I'm a good kisser.

**Santana Lopez: **BRAIN DAMAGE ALERT! BRAIN DAMAGE ALERT! Really? Since when did I happen to like kissing a giant toddler's mouth? I slept with boys that are hotter than you. And FYI, you are the worst person I slept with.

**Rachel Berry: **I'm trying to forget that "incident". STOP BABBLING ABOUT IT!

**Santana Lopez: **I SLEPT WITH FINNOCENCE. I SLEPT WITH FINNOCENCE. I SLEPT WITH FINNOCENCE. I SLEPT WITH FINNOCENCE. I SLEPT WITH FINNOCENCE. I SLEPT WITH FINNOCENCE. I SLEPT WITH FINNOCENCE. I SLEPT WITH FINNOCENCE. I SLEPT WITH FINNOCENCE AND HE'S HORRIBLE AT BED. END OF THE STORY.

* * *

**Kurt Hummel **Just going out with **Blaine Anderson. **AGAIN!

(**Mercedes Jones, Blaine Anderson, Rachel Berry, and 28 others like this)**

**Mercedes Jones: **You and that Blaine boy are really taking things seriously, huh?

**Kurt Hummel: **What does "seriously" suppose to mean?

**Mercedes Jones: **Oh, you know what I mean.

**Kurt Hummel: **Diva! We're not taking things THAT far!

**Santana Lopez: **So, if you're with the Warbler, who's left at your house?

**Kurt Hummel: **And why are you asking that question, Santana?

**Santana Lopez: **Just answer it, Ladyface!

**Kurt Hummel: **FINE! Finn is left at the house.

**Santana Lopez: **Soo, you didn't hire someone to babysit Finnocence?

**Kurt Hummel: **Why will I hire someone to babysit my step-brother?

**Santana Lopez: **You know Finnocence, Hummel. My grandma's brain is bigger than his.

**Brittany Pierce: **Wait...Why would you hire someone to sit on your baby?

**(Santana Lopez, Kurt Hummel, The Puckasaurus, and 31 others like this)**

* * *

**Quinn Fabray **Seriously, Mr. Schue? You're gonna make us dress like as animals? NO FRICKIN' WAY!

**(The Puckasaurus, Santana Lopez, Sam Evans, and 42 others like this)**

**Will Schuester: **You are all going to dress as animals in support for the Nutrition Week at Mckinley's. Let us all remind people that killing animals for food must be stopped.

**Rachel Berry: **I agree with Mr. Schuester.

**The Puckasaurus: **The Puckster is not gonna dress as an animal. That will be a total turn-off for the chicks!

**Mercedes Jones: **HELL TO THE NO, MR. SCHUE!

**Finn Hudson: **I'm a lion, roar!

**Santana Lopez: **Are you kidding me? A lion? I suggest you dress as a whale. Whales are large but they have small brains. They totally fit you.

**Brittany Pierce: **I'm a bird, moo!

**(Finn Hudson likes this)**

* * *

**Blaine Anderson **Pavarotti the bird just died. I'm very sorry, **Kurt Hummel.**

**(Kurt Hummel likes this)**

**Kurt Hummel: **Pavarotti is very special to me, you know.

**Blaine Anderson: **It's fine. Pavarotti is probably on heaven now.

**Brittany Pierce: **Bye Pavarotti. I wish you'll see Goldie on heaven.

**Kurt Hummel: **Who's Goldie?

**Brittany Pierce: **He's my goldfish who was drowned by my other goldfish.

* * *

**Will Schuester **Whoever made the page **, Mr. Schue Please Stop Rapping Because It Sucks, **SPEAK NOW.

**(Mercedes Jones, Quinn Fabray, Finn Hudson, The Puckasaurus, and 93 others like this)**

**Santana Lopez: **Can I like that page a hundred times?

**Sue Sylvester: **I need to agree with Boobs McGee over there, William.

**Will Schuester: **Sue? Since when did you join Facebook?

**Sue Sylvester: **Oh shut it, Spongehair Square Chin. Every celebrity needs a Facebook page. And cyber-bullying your whole Glee Club is a source of my enjoyment.

**(Santana Lopez likes this)**

* * *

**Brittany Pierce **is angry at the librarian.

**(Santana Lopez, The Puckasaurus and 3 others like this)**

**Santana Lopez: **What happened, Britt-Britt?

**Brittany Pierce: **I went to the library and asked the librarian "Can I have a burger and fries?" and she said "I'm sorry. But this is a library,"

**Santana Lopez: **But Britt..

**Brittany Pierce: **After that, I leaned forward and whispered softly "Can I have a burger and fries?" and after that, she ran outside and blew me off!

**Santana Lopez: **Well, that explains it.

**(Kurt Hummel, Quinn Fabray, and 9 others like this)**

* * *

**Tina Cohen-Chang **At Taco Bell with **Kurt Hummel**, **Blaine Anderson **and **Mercedes Jones!**

**(Kurt Hummel, Finn Hudson, Mercedes Jones, and 13 others like this)**

**Brittany Pierce: **What are you all doing at a Mexican phone company?

* * *

**Rachel Berry **Is at Finn's room watching a horror movie.

**(The Puckasaurus, Brittany Pierce, Sam Evans, and 93 others like this)**

**The Puckasaurus: **Hell yeah! Finnster here is gonna get laid!

**Finn Hudson: **Shut up, dude.

**Rachel Berry: **For your information Noah, "Finnster" is not gonna get laid tonight.

**Finn Hudson: **I'm gonna kill you, Puck. I was already making my move!

**Santana Lopez: **One piece of advice to Hobbit: Don't lose your V-Card to Frankenteen. You're gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You don't wanna lose your virginity to a stupid, giant toddler.

**Rachel Berry: **Finn is not stupid! He's just…slow.

**Santana Lopez: **Oh yeah I forgot. He's not stupid. He's possessed by a retarded ghost!

**(The Puckasaurus likes this)**

**The Puckasaurus: **I'm gonna give Lopez a high-five for that one. HAH!

* * *

**Sue Sylvester **created the page **William Schuester Needs to Shave His Hideous Hair**

**(The Puckasaurus, Dave Karofsky, and 122 others like this)**

**Will Schuester: **SUE!

**Sue Sylvester: **The 124 likes just proved you need to shave that bird's nest hair.

* * *

**I hope you liked this chapter!:)**

**Review! They make me update faster.**

**Thank you!**

**Maraming Salamat!**

**Gracias!**


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